i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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