He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
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