No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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