Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
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I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
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We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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