I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
