just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
