If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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