i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize