were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
are you so shy because you have an std?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
