I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
