The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
