at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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