Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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