new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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