bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
