I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
