Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
