I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
