Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
