yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
