shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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