I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
