Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
