i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
