While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
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Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
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I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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