You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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