; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
tell me about the eggs
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