i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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