I want to stick my p in your. b.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
