It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
