I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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