Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
