Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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