I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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