He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
