Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Randomize