Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize