He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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