How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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