He is such a slut. More and more my type.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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