i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
