i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
