i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
