OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
