I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
