I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
