do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Randomize
