Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I can't turn off my feet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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