so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
