Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
