So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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