I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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