Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
